It's my life

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 23:27:56 GMT

Why don't you stay with me
Share all your secrets tonight
We can make believe the morning sun never will rise
Come and lay your head on this big brass bed
And we'll be alright as long as you stay with me, yeah

I rode in a cop car!
He was SO nice!

Mall days with ronnie are GREAT FUN!

Finally I get what I want

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 16:27:12 GMT

YOU make me so happy....
I love feeling this way, this is what it feels like to let go.
You still have to wear a foil hat with me.
It's not perfect... but it's what I want and I know that now.
How can you be so cute, it makes me want to SCREAM!
I had a good weekend.
♥

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 04:15:32 GMT

Thats all that I have to say Can't think of a better way...
Thats all that I have to say... I LOVE YOU... is that OK?
♥

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 01:40:16 GMT

pointless....

Why am I so stupid?
Why do I keep running
I am not happy

Who will I be tonight??

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 00:08:46 GMT

YAY an update!!!!!

I am ready to PARTY!!!
I think I have a slip n slide obession..

BUT I just like to playyyyyyy!

I've got a sunny funny face!
I put color in your world.

HEYYYYYYYY.... at least I am not ugly... LOL

<3 Penelope

The original GLITTER hoe... and Late night cowgirl!

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 06:16:46 GMT

I missed you today...
I wish we could have talked.
I'm glad I made someone's day today.

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 04:30:35 GMT

I have changed... I changed so much. I am growing up. I am taking a few steps back but I will recover. in good time. At least for the most part I am happy though. HAPPY WITH FRIENDS.

I finally got around to it

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 19:10:10 GMT

I have a lot on my mind. Like did I do the right thing?
I guess I did.... is losing you guys a good thing?
Yeah, I guess it is. Doesn't mean I don't miss. Tons
I know I gave up so much that is why it hurts me.

I am happy with you... Just like we first were before the fights
Is it because I am not sick and we ... like we used to.
I feel I am really becoming a better person with you.
Thank goodness for that managing your anger class.
That helped to. Plus I don't want to lose you.

I got my prom dress..Vintage red and BEAUTIFUL.
I see TBS at Grad bash on saturday. :)
I get to hang out with nicole :)

I am getting whiter
I need to...
Go to the beach
Get some starbucks
Make Eric dinner
Find shoes and earings
Get an outfit for saturday
AND most of all CLEAN MY ROOM.

I need to start using my camera....
<3 Ms.Golightly

I get....

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 20:10:39 GMT

..What I want....

I had spring break
Saw Sachelle
Went to the Beach
Got a tan
Got TONS of star bucks
Woke up in his arms
New Clothes
Met new people
And I am finally feeling better.
Got a new bathing suit.

I LOVE ERIC!
I love Alexis!

UMM...

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 20:04:09 GMT

I think I am finally figuring things out. Though I may not be as happy as I once was, but then again was I really ever happy? I realize that I need to rid myself of a few things. And hold dearly to others..(family, Sachelle, Eric, Alexis, Nicole, and some others)
I know that someone in this world can relate to me and she'll be here soon in enough. I also have someone to seriously help me find that inner happiness that only one special person can bring out.I guess I just need to CHILL OUT and stop being so STRESSED. But then again that is easier said than done in this case. I am strong I will make it though this as gracefully as possible. I want Fifth Avenue, a cup of coffee, and an amazing outfit.

So it's New York in the 40's How should I dress?

Thanks for making me happy....
The good does out weight the bad...
sometimes times I just need to control my...
EMOTIONS

If was blind I'd still know it was your body

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 22:10:09 GMT

Do you think he'd be better doing what I do best?

I LoVe red bull.
TONS of make up work to do. :(
Tomorrow is Friday :)
Mike is So cool.
Caffeine Makes my day.
I Cried because I missed you.
I wish I could take you out tonight.

Looking for New friends pLEASE!
One way ticket from Denver to MIAMI, would help.
Can we do the movie?
I am feeling inspired today and everyday now.
I am finally happy again.

And the answer is Yes he is.

Wait until dark...

Bad case of senioritis..

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 19:30:17 GMT

Well...
Eric and I are married.... Well just about. But I'm the happiest I've ever been in a realtionship with him. It is as close to perfect as I can get. We've been together everyday for the past 47 days.I am so in LOve

Courtney I hope everything works out for you for the better. Just know I am here for you.

I hope I am doing good in school I have a lot of work and stuff to make up it's not fun at all.

I hope I get well soon..

:( I work Valentines day. With Alexis and Alan :)

I want:
TO go to the beach
To rent a good movie
To meet new people
To get a new bathing suit
To get some starbucks
Medicine that works
To wake up in your arms
To see sachelle
To Graduate
To feel Well
New clothes
To spend forever with you
To be beautiful forever
Spring break to be here already
a Vacation....

Is it wrong to miss you 10 seconds after you leave?
Am I selfish for wanting you all to myself?
Am I really looking for perfection?

mOon river and me....

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 07:51:10 GMT

What do I deserve?
Everything makes me feel like I should be alone. It's either AI give more than a Iget back. I take more than I can give. It's just never right never balanced. Why always the stress and the fights? Is this the way it has to be? I can't take it I want to scream. Why do I do things for people that they won't do back for me. What do I owe them. Whatever happen to my strenght and independence? I am wrong here?

Is this what you do for love?

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 04:13:30 GMT

Is it your Mission in life to destroy mine?
What was the point of you going to see me dressed so nice?
Why do you want to hold my hand?
What makes you think I would touch you?
Was it your wish to make me think?
Do you think you have a chance?
Do you plan on giving me a heart attack?
Why should I ever forgive you?
Do you think I want to talk to you?
That I enjoy hearing your name or seeing your face?
Did you know you ruined my night?

You are so selfish and inconsiderate.....
Why Did I Love You?
Why Did I Care?

You are not worth this...
Yet you still affect me. Go AWAY! Leave me BE. There is NO us.

58- Gran

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 16:00:38 GMT

I had a good Night last Night...

I Started my my project.
Made something Cute with Victoria.
And of course I saw Eric the Amazing.
I love waking up in your arms...it means so much to me.

I wish I didn't have to go to night school tonight... But I want to get my scholarship.
Life is OK this week a lot of times better than OK. Like Perfect or amazing.

You make me Happy.

I can't wait to get a tan go to the beach and wear my new bathing suits. I LOVE the hot pink one.

I need an energy Drink... I fell asleep in school.

Natalie Portman is the next Audrey Hepburn... I think not... How about you?

Gotta run, Gossip girl.

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 00:04:30 GMT

You know it tears me up inside
to see the feelings that you hide
Hide inside that empty bottle
I wish you saw how great you were
I wish you saw what life was worth
You wouldn't have to hide your problems
And I don't care what you might think
I think you've had too much to drink
Can't even talk when you're this way

Run away, run away
But that won't make it any better
Run away, run away
And make tomorrow harder to live than today

There's so much out there you could miss
there's so much life out there to live
If you would just believe in yourself
You know you're better than all of this
you know you've got so much to give
But you're so afraid to give of yourself

There's a bright light shining inside you
it shines out through your eyes
Don't drown it away, don't be afraid, don't hide
Let it shine

You say you're looking for happiness
but when it comes, you run away from it
You tell yourself you don't deserve it
There's not much more that I can do now the rest is up to you
Until you love yourself, you'll never change
You'll keep on running
Until you deal with today

I Love you Eric <3 <3 and I know you try to help me.

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 07:38:22 GMT

So yeah the stress starts again...
But hey it's life and nothing is perfect. I hate that when things don't go my way or not the way I thought they would sometimes I turn into a MEGA bitch.I feel really stupid afterward and there is not much I can do about it then so yea. I am looking forward to finding new ways to manage my stress so I don't have my bitch attacks on people who don't deserve and then I am somehow nice to the assholes through it all... I hate me on bad days. "I'm making the choice to be out of touch.Leave me be. Leave me here in my stark, raving, sick, sad, little world!"

At least I can smile now. PLUS yesterday morning was the most AMAZING and TRULY perfect time in my entire life.And I say that in all honesty. Thinking about it almost gives me the chills.I love YOU. And I can't wait to see you. :)

Alexis is a HxC Kisser FOR SURE. SILK Soy Latte are an orgasm in a bottle.

Sachelle is going to be 18 Tomorrow...Happy BIRTHDAY JAN 17 BEAUTIFUL!

I need some water... And I need EVEN more sleep. I need Eric most of all.

YAY two more days of sleeping in!

My how life changes...

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 22:32:05 GMT

Well I am back to school
+ I Graduate May 31st
+ Classes are easy
+ It's already the middle of the week

I am bearly stressed at all, in turn that makes me VERY HAPPY little Girl.

The reason I am not so stressed is because I have the NICEST most AMAZING boyfriend EVER. When I hug or kiss him feeling the sense of calm, of peace slowly gathering and spreading itself within my body. It is the single most greatest feeling in the world. So yea he is the cutest, nicest, and overall best guy I have even been with. And I am nothing but happy about it.

My parents are going out of town and no school monday another GREAT weekend for me.

the FIRST day, the WORST day.

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 07:44:43 GMT

Cody and i are over.... What a dissapointment.
My dad is sometimes HEartless and irrational.
People are getting mad and I am unstable.
I am tired.
I am sick.
Yea enough said. I just had a bad day.

So go on live your life....

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 15:29:14 GMT

... But I miss you more then I did yesterday.

You asked me the Other day If I thought it would be like this and know I can answer NO. This isn't how it's supposed to be. But here I am Sick missing exams and you're not here to make me feel better. As a matter of fact no one is. But yea I lost a lot because of you and you're so far away. I remember when I wished on that shooting star for you to be happy and I guess my wish came true.I just wish I was part of that happiness. I guess I am deep down inside of you, but we can even share it together.

This weekend was Kinda fun at least I got my Covers and hung out with Alexis and the cool foreign guys. Is he really that Cute? My aunt said so.

Courtney I want to thank you for practically hanging up on me... after I am trying to be nice to you. It's ok.

Sachelle I'm glad that we are talking again. How do you Do it?

Oh yea and I bet everyone thinks I am talking to them because Cody is gone. And yea I am lonely but unless I call you late at night while I am in my room ALONE I am not calling you because he is gone and i'm upset and lonely.

ALexis this is how it goes. No cock in your eye. Or cock and ride.

You know it's sick,
to think that you would know that I
I could save you,
cause I can't save.
G-g-g-g-g-got to get it right
Let's make sure this time that tonight,
I could save you,
or I could break you.

I woke up this morning and Smiled I slept in your shirt.

I can handle it in dreams, but what about in real life....

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 18:25:33 GMT

So yes....

I am not looking forward to next week. I can say that much. Thursday Cody is leaving. Friday is Exams.How did I know that was going to happen. I seriously hope I can still do well. Things are going to be really different. With Cody leaving, Courtney and I aren't friends. And Sachelle bearly likes me either. I mean I wish people would understand why I am the way I am with cody.But I hope Sachelle is happy with beauty and Jeremy. I hope Chris is happy with Jenna and parties. I hope Courtney is happy with Drugs and Cody. And I just hope I am happy.

It's my WORLD

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 19:57:35 GMT

If it were my world

North America would consist of
1. Alaska
2. Arizona
3. California
4. Hawaii
5. New York
6. Texas... Not b/c of cody

South America
1. Brazil

Europe
1.UK
2.France

Asia
1. Japan

Africa
1.Eygpt

Austrailia

Antarctica

The end

I am cold hearted I guess.... but this was brought on by me being annoyed. As always.

What are the chances?

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 18:00:05 GMT

So yea...

+ I've spent the last four days with cody
+ I slept in today
+ I saw Home alone last night
+ Sachelle will be with me in two days
+ I was work free for wonderful 4 days
+ I have long weekend ahead of me

- my hair is annoying
- My word of the week is annyoing
- I was passenger in two minor car accidents al in the matter of 5 minutes
- Cody is SUPPOSEDLY leaving in two weeks
- I have no longs have an ID ... long story
- I am no long "blind"
- I have a post-tramatic headache

Thoughts pass by like a river flows....

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 15:54:28 GMT

I am silently scared of that feeling that is soon going to seep into my body. It's such an empty, cold, and unhappy feeling. I scream inside my head, " I don't to go back there! Don't take me back there!" But once again I will not be answered the way I would like. Once Again I will feel alone. I know I am not alone. But saying goodbye is so hard. Like I said yesterday and will continue to say for a very long time...FUCK THE MIDWEST! Why does it exist why must it take the people I am closest to? Someone please explain...... AHHHH

I keep forgetting it's friday.... It feels like monday

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 16:33:56 GMT

Tra La La La....

On to another weekend of work and sleep what more could I ask for?

I had a lucky time at Starbucks on wednesday night. I saw Courtney Chris Alexis and Cody. It was a half hour of fun.

Are you all Aware my Dad is the king of a one story Pembroke Pines Castle?.

I feel worried but overall happy lately. It is not as weird now.

All you can eat at Nami on university drive on saturday!

Sachelle are you excited to be coming back to the heat soon?

I am hungry...off to sleep After I check up on some things.

Thanks Mommy I am leaving school early today.

Falling asleep next to you truly is the best feeling in the world.

Florida is so plain..